Baywatch: A Nonsensical Film Overdosed with Icky Fluff
Movie Review by Trijai Nerthi (Rocheston Certified Movie Critic)
When you set out to watch a film like Baywatch, you know you’re signing up for a whole lot of objectification. But even if you write that off, Baywatch is still stale, boring and one dull affair. Even Dwayne Johnson cannot carry the substandard and unoriginal comedy this film packs in his able shoulders. When the film’s prevailing ickiness inevitably meets an overdose of sun-screen slathered fluff, this disastrous film easily becomes the king of all disasters.
Mitch (Dwayne Johnson), an iron-clad, muscle flexing beach patrol personnel recruits Matt (Zac Efron), Ronnie (Jon Bass) and Summer (Daddario) to be a part of his infamous team. Even though they rarely seem to be getting along, they breeze through one too many rescue missions effortlessly. One fine day, Mitch uncovers a twisted and villainous scandal when he discovers a bag of drugs in the premises of Victoria Leed’s (Priyanka Chopra) lavish mansion. The manner in which this dream team gets to the bottom of this mystery forms the rest of the story.
With every passing minute, director Seth Gordon makes it incredibly difficult for you to sit through an increasingly annoying film. You would think the least they could do is thrown in a few laughs but even the jokes are unfunny. Some comedy sequences in the film are so overused, they’re practically stale. Other third rate attempts at comedy are so politically incorrect; they make you sick to your stomach. In one particular scene, Mitch makes fun of Matt’s sexuality when he is forced to examine the genitals of a corpse. In what insane way is this funny? Such insensitive scenes make you feel uncomfortable and leave you troubled.
Even the plot twists in the film are so substandard and clichéd. Whether it’s the way in which Mitch discovers the drugs or the fact that all the heroics are left for the men to handle, Baywatch dumbs down these twists immensely. They seem too nonsensical to even exist.
As Mitch, Dwayne Johnson barely sails through. The harder he tries to deliver these inappropriate lines, the more desperate he seems. Zac Efron might have worked hard to sculpt those drool-worthy abs, but as Matt, he is as disappointing and dull as Johnson. It should be noted that Baywatch has a wonderful team of actors who are capable of so much more. Sadly, due to the despicable writing, their performances never take off.
As Victoria Leeds, Priyanka Chopra is definitely the saving grace of this film. She is charming and zealous. But even her fleeting charm is not enough to lift up this icky film.
Every now and then, director Seth Gordon is seen flaunting the big budget he has been given through elaborate and exuberance-oozing rescue sequences. He merely showcases Men flexing their muscles and bikini-clad women playing the quintessential damsels in distress, there is nothing that is innovative or entertaining. Considering that this is the 21st century, you would think women could rescue themselves, but the writers of Baywatch seem hell-bent on revisiting this age old, meaningless formula over and over again.
On the whole, Baywatch is a nonsensical film filled with an overdose ickiness and fluff. Unless you want a two-hour test of your patience, you should definitely sit this one out.